The last couple of days have ben challenging to say the least. Yesterday began with an alarming message that my brother was undergoing emergency surgery for a perforated ulcer. A serious condition and scary surgery. I spent the day in the hospital. First waiting for him to go into surgery. Then waiting for news about the surgery. Then waiting for him to wake up. Then waiting for him to be brought to a room in the ICU where he will be watched closely for the next couple of days. After that, he will be moved to a less critical ward of the hospital for further recovery.
When I left for the hospital in the morning, I joked with my husband that for sure there would be healthy food for me at the hospital, right? Not necessarily. Lunch consisted of a salad from the salad bar, a sub-par grilled chicken breast sandwich, sans bun, and NO salad dressing. I choked it down, but it was not very enjoyable. I waited until I got home last night to eat dinner and settled on leftover almond chicken tenders and potatoes from the night before. What I really wanted was a large glass of wine and something chocolatey. Hello, my name is Dana and I am a stress eater.
At the hospital, I stoppd by the vending machine out of curiosity. There was not a single thing in there I could eat. If this situation had happened last month, I would hav gladly accepted the excuse for my go-to stress indulgence: a snickers bar, a bag of cheddar and sour cream Ruffles, and a Mountain Dew. I would have had horrible digestive issues to go along with the already stressful day and I would have been completely miserable. Instead, I laughed at the stupid choices in the machine and ate the apple and nuts I brought for a snack.
A coworker has been taking a cake decorating class and brought in her most recent masterpiece to share with the office today. It was pretty and it looked beautiful. But, I politely declined a piece and went about my business. I will admit, not snatching up a piece of that cake was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It was torture knowing that homemade sweet goodness and fresh frosting were sitting right outside my office. All. Day. Long.
At Bible Study tonight I giggled to myself as a huge bag of Peanut M&M's was passed around the group. M&M's are my favorite candy. And peanuts only make them better. In fact, I woke yesterday morning from a nightmare where I ate an entire large bag of Peanut M&M's myself and had to deal with the post splurge guilt. It seemed so real! It took me a few minutes to realize that it was only a dream. Boy was I happy once I figured that out!
Here's my exciting realization for the day: My hair isn't falling out anymore!!! For the last few months, I was noticing that every time I style my hair, I would end up with hair all over my shirt. When running my fingers through my hair, 5 or so pieces would come out. Now, NOTHING!!! This is huge for me. I felt like I was going bald! I wish I could step on the scale to check my weight loss progress. But no scales is part of the plan. We tie too much of our success and failures to a number on the scale that they say stepping on the scale can derail progress. So, little things like "my hair doesn't fall out anymore" will have to be my guide for now.
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