Unconditional Love

I am not an expert on anything. Jack of all trades, master of absolutely NONE. One of the reasons I've been hesitant to even start a blog is that I don't want to come off as a know-it-all, full-of-herself blogger telling people how to live their lives. But for some reason, I can't shake the feeling that this is a post that I have to write.

One thing that I know pretty well is love. Love is the answer to all that's difficult in life and the reason for everything enjoyable.

How did I survive teenage pregnancy? Unconditional Love.

How have we stayed happily married with the odds against us? Unconditional Love.

How am I surviving Jeremy's teenage years? Unconditional Love.

How do I believe in a God I cannot see? Unconditional Love.

How did I juggle family, school, and career? Unconditional Love.

How do I forgive so easily? Unconditional Love.

Through all the crazy, messed up things I went through during childhood/adolescence, the one thing I never doubted was my parents' love for their children. This is what got me through. I'll never forget the day I called my mom at 16 years old and told her I was pregnant. Her response, without hesitation, "I still love you. We'll get through this." What an awesome example of our heavenly Farther's love lived out by my own mother, here on Earth.

Jerry and I have made a commitment to show our children this same love. And so far, it's worked in our family. Don't get me wrong, there are moments when my temper gets the best of me and anger wins out. But over all, our priority is to demonstrate unconditional love in our home. I want Jeremy and Caroline to know that they can come to me with anything, big or small, and it will not change their standing with me. This means sometimes swallowing my pride and apologizing to them for my emotional overreactions.

God has entrusted these children to me for a time, and a purpose - His purpose. My responsibility is to raise them to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and mind and to love others as they love themselves. I do not believe that I am to raise honor roll students who attend ivy league schools and become doctors or lawyers. God has a purpose for their lives and he will guide them in that direction. He loves them even more than I do (even though that's impossible for me to believe). And I am not 'big enough' to derail God's plans for their lives, and neither are they. They are going to make decisions that I do NOT agree with. They are going to mess up and suffer painful consequences. I can guide and instruct, but ultimately, I have to let them act on their own. If they fear me or fear rejection from me, they will not seek my guidance and instruction. (someone remind me of all of this as they continue through adolescence and teen years!)

Here's my advice, whether you asked for it or not, take it or leave it: Love your children in such a way that they never doubt it. When you're disappointed in them, make sure they know it's because you love them. When you're proud of them, show it with confident love. When they make poor choices and suffer the consequences, guide them in love. Love your spouse so that they see true romantic love. Love their friends. Love in your actions. Love in your words. Love them the way God loves all of us.

"free" time

Free time is something I don't typically find myself with much of (I know, join the club, cry me a river, right?).
This morning, Caroline's at a slumber party and the boys are still sleeping. I find myself with a full 60 minutes that is not spoken for. What to do?

• workout?
• go back to bed?
• watch an episode of Army Wives on Netflix?
• organize a closet to keep up with my "organizing things" New Year's Res?
• Bible study?
• laundry?
• call my mom (way overdue)?

I wish, that my natural tendency was towards activity instead of sedentary activity. I'd love to be the girl who sprang out of bed this morning and hopped on the treadmill. Or the woman who planned out yesterday that she would get up early and finally tackle that horribly disorganized storage closet downstairs. But, I'm not. The most productive thing I can get myself to do this morning is drink this

My Dad's favorite coffee mug. I  use it at least twice a week. It helps me feel close to him.

I think me and my cup of coffee will go lay in bed next to sleeping Husband and watch some mindless TV. If I remember correctly, there's a new-ish episode of Kitchen Nightmares I haven't watched yet.

At 10:00 I pick up Caro, come home for a little while, drop her off at church at noon for an AWANA Bible Quizzing practice, swoop her up at 2:45 for Baton lesson, home around 4:30, then it's off to youth group for Jeremy and I at 5:30. So, you see... this is really my only chance to rest (and I spent 10 precious minutes of it writing this). :)

Kick. Box. Ing.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Dana who could k i c k  b u t t. She trained in the dojo 4 times a week, every week. She was strong. She had endurance. Then, Dana went back to school, on to grad school, and got busy with her career. And she ate. Alot. And stopped working out. Ever. And she missed being the tough chick who could kick your butt (or who could at least justify talking like she could kick your butt.)

A few months ago, I bought a Groupon for a 10 class punch card to a dojo near my house called U.S. Elite Martial Arts. I've been nervous to go for a bunch of reasons.

1. I'm insecure (it's something I'm working on).
2. Girls are mean, even grown up ones.
3. It's not pretty when I sweat.

Last Saturday, I mustered up the courage to take the 9:30 kickboxing class. Oh, I can't even begin to describe it. Just setting foot inside the place warmed my heart. All dojo's must smell the same because the mix of dirt, sweat, punching bags, and leather filled me with such a sense of peace and comfort. I was home again. I spent the next hour running, jumping, push ups, sit ups, jump rope, shadow boxing, bag work, and solid abs. I sweat like I haven't sweat in years. And I loved every stinkin minute of it.

I could hardly move yesterday and am still VERY stiff today. But, it was worth it. And, I'm going back tomorrow. And the best part? I bought another punch card on Groupon tonight! So, I get to take at least 20 classes in total. YES!

Controlling Self

I start many days with the goal of being in control - of myself. This is the theme of my 2012. The theme of the rest of my life.
  In control of my eating habits.
  In control of my emotional responses.
  In control of my thoughts.
  In control of my words.
  In control of my time management.
  In control of my "stuff."
     And many days I fail miserably.
But, I used to live my life trying desperately to control everything and everyone around me lest they get swept out of my grasp and beyond my reach where I could not make sure that all was as it should be. Those days I always failed. I have come to realize that the only "thing" I can really control is myself. And even that is not so easy.

Today, I woke at 5:10am after hitting the snooze button only once.
 I brushed my teeth, donned my favorite workout clothes, and headed downstairs for a morning workout. (This one is my favorite: Look Better Naked DVD)

Then, I spent 45 whole minutes in quiet time with God. This is not something I do often enough. I prayed, journaled, read, and listened. It put me in a great mood. When I woke Jerry up, he asked where I got so much energy. Coffee with God does that to me.

I got to work earlier than normal. Had an incredibly productive, albeit hectic day. I did not allow myself to buy into office negativity. I did not allow myself to get sucked into time wasters. I did, however, allow myself to get too engrossed in my projects and work eleven hours straight. Sigh. I also allowed myself to eat four miniature chocolates from generous coworkers and 4 little cookies from a cookie tin. But, I did stick with the steamed broccoli and baked potato lunch that I brought from home, even though I ate it while preparing monthly trends reports.

When I got home, I was greeted by Husband who was eager to show me the treadmill he brought home for me from his brother's house. I've been wanting a treadmill for a long time. And now, I have one -  and even better, it was free! Thank you Andy and Jenni! I ran upstairs put my workout clothes back on and ran a mile. Er, jogged is probably a more accurate description.

Then I had the greasiest veggie pizza ever from Rosati's... a lot of it. Jerry tried to convince me it was ok because the spinach, green peppers, and onions are healthy. But, I know better.

As I close this day, I will choose to remember it for the good things - the things I did manage to keep under control. I will not dwell on the negative, the things I let get away from me.

Tomorrow is another day.

Hello Blogosphere!

I have toyed with the idea of writing a blog for the last couple of years. But, for whatever reason, I cannot seem to get over the feeling that thinking anyone out there may want to read anything I have to say is a bit presumptuous. And, this whole thing is a bit overwhelming. There are fonts to choose from, formatting, inserting photos and videos, deciding what to write about and what NOT to write about. But, here goes nothing!


Today, I had to work. Check out the date, people. It's the 2nd of January, and it's a Monday! I'm pretty sure our company was the ONLY one open today. It sucked. I feel like I got robbed. Last January, my friend/boss Michelle and I realized that January 1, 2012 would fall on a Sunday. When a federal holiday falls on a Sunday, it is observed the next day. In the world of accounting, you can NEVER take the 2nd off... ever - unless it's a federal holiday! I've been excited about today for the last 11 months. And it was taken away from me. It was a required work day. Not only did I work, but it was a busy day and I didn't leave the office until almost 7 pm. I know, cry me a river, right? Just had to get that off my chest. 


I promise this blog will not be all about me whining about negative things. Especially not negative things about my job. I love my job. But, this is what's on my mind today.


Something else I've been thinking about - resolutions. I've never really made new year's resolutions before. But, for some reason I feel like it this year. There are a lot of things that I want to accomplish and let's face it, they won't get done if I don't plan them into my busy schedule! Blogging is one of these things. Stay tuned to future blog posts to learn what else I'm going to work on this year.


Now I'm going to eat rib roast, baked potatoes, and steamed broccoli that my awesome hubby made for us for dinner. He's awesome. And, he's handsome!

Loves!