I am not an expert on anything. Jack of all trades, master of absolutely NONE. One of the reasons I've been hesitant to even start a blog is that I don't want to come off as a know-it-all, full-of-herself blogger telling people how to live their lives. But for some reason, I can't shake the feeling that this is a post that I have to write.
One thing that I know pretty well is love. Love is the answer to all that's difficult in life and the reason for everything enjoyable.
How did I survive teenage pregnancy? Unconditional Love.
How have we stayed happily married with the odds against us? Unconditional Love.
How am I surviving Jeremy's teenage years? Unconditional Love.
How do I believe in a God I cannot see? Unconditional Love.
How did I juggle family, school, and career? Unconditional Love.
How do I forgive so easily? Unconditional Love.
Through all the crazy, messed up things I went through during childhood/adolescence, the one thing I never doubted was my parents' love for their children. This is what got me through. I'll never forget the day I called my mom at 16 years old and told her I was pregnant. Her response, without hesitation, "I still love you. We'll get through this." What an awesome example of our heavenly Farther's love lived out by my own mother, here on Earth.
Jerry and I have made a commitment to show our children this same love. And so far, it's worked in our family. Don't get me wrong, there are moments when my temper gets the best of me and anger wins out. But over all, our priority is to demonstrate unconditional love in our home. I want Jeremy and Caroline to know that they can come to me with anything, big or small, and it will not change their standing with me. This means sometimes swallowing my pride and apologizing to them for my emotional overreactions.
God has entrusted these children to me for a time, and a purpose - His purpose. My responsibility is to raise them to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and mind and to love others as they love themselves. I do not believe that I am to raise honor roll students who attend ivy league schools and become doctors or lawyers. God has a purpose for their lives and he will guide them in that direction. He loves them even more than I do (even though that's impossible for me to believe). And I am not 'big enough' to derail God's plans for their lives, and neither are they. They are going to make decisions that I do NOT agree with. They are going to mess up and suffer painful consequences. I can guide and instruct, but ultimately, I have to let them act on their own. If they fear me or fear rejection from me, they will not seek my guidance and instruction. (someone remind me of all of this as they continue through adolescence and teen years!)
Here's my advice, whether you asked for it or not, take it or leave it: Love your children in such a way that they never doubt it. When you're disappointed in them, make sure they know it's because you love them. When you're proud of them, show it with confident love. When they make poor choices and suffer the consequences, guide them in love. Love your spouse so that they see true romantic love. Love their friends. Love in your actions. Love in your words. Love them the way God loves all of us.
I LOVE this post! Thanks for the invite; I think I'll be a regular here. I'll listen to advice from you any day. I think you are pretty awesome :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Adrian! I think you're awesome, too!
ReplyDeleteGood to be reminded that love should be priority. Its hard sometimes to put others first, especially their feelings. I do have one thing to say though :), there is a time and place for anger, so long as its out of love, which you mentioned. Look at God and how he destroyed the earth and His creation, or Jesus when he was angry about the buying and selling in the temple. Its easy to get angry for sure but I don't think its all bad. If we didn't correct our children that wouldn't be very Godly either. Love in all we do though, that is a good motto. :) Keep on writing!
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